Rosie's Story

I have another guest post for you today. It is interesting to see how each journey is both different and similar. This is a story of male factor infertility.

I vividly remember saying to friends in college, "Oh, not being able to
have a baby when you want to has to be my worst nightmare." I think
they all nodded in agreement and that was the end of it. And that was
the last I thought of it for a very, very long time.

Even though my husband and I were married just out of college, we spent
five years having fun, buying a house, starting careers, and generally
getting the jist of being married. When our five year anniversary hit,
I also hit 28. I thought it was the perfect time for a baby. And,
really, my husband didn't get much say in the matter. No, that's not
true. I really did listen to him "hem and haw" around, but I also know
that he's a person that will NOT change, on purpose, unless he's drug
there kicking and screaming.

So, after a perfectly lovely Caribbean vacation, I threw out the birth
control and off we went. I figured it would take a few months for my
cycles to be normal again but after that it should just be a few
months. Oh my. How naive. So it was four months, then five, then
seven. By now I had been working my Type A butt off researching what
was going on. I started charting cycles. And they were GOOD. And
tracking cervical mucus. And it was GOOD. And I started to panic. So,
off to the OB with my five months of charts in hand.

To my wonderful OB's credit, he took me very seriously. I have heard so
many stories of women in their twenties being given the brush off by
their gynecologists and obstetricians. But not my guy. He looked at my
charts, listened to my history, and HEARD me. He also told me I was
very thorough (thank you Type A). So, I had a thorough exam, blood work
and a hysterosalpingogram (umm, OUCH). And my amazing husband was sent
for his semen analysis.

And BINGO. An answer. Male Factor Infertility. My body appeared to be
working well (although I have autoimmune issues that certainly weren't
HELPING us), but we fall into the 30% of infertility cases that can be
attributed to the man. It was a conflicting moment. It was finally an
AHA we know what it is! And at the same time it was heartbreaking, at
least for me, to know that we did in fact have a real impediment to
making a baby. This wasn't going to happen in the privacy of our own
home on some lucky evening. It was going to take doctors, drugs, and
who knew what else! If it even worked at all!

(I need to add that my husband was and IS amazing. Some men take
infertility as an affront to their manhood. My husband never did. He
just said, "Oh, it is what it is. I'm still the same me. Just with
lousy sperm." See? Amazing.)

Our OB/GYN referred us to a urologist specializing in male infertility.
And he was wonderful. He did more blood work and explained to us what
all the counts meant and what he thought he could do for us. We decided
to try a few months of clomid to see if it could increase sperm production.

I will admit, those were some LOUSY months. My husband faithfully took
his drugs and repeatedly returned into the city for bloodwork and sample
donation. I kept charting and charting. And we kept trying and trying.
With no success. At all. By this point we had been trying to have a
baby for about 19 months. The stress was awful. The pressure was
awful. I remember crying at stop lights because I was just so
frustrated and lost and angry and sad.

Finally, I had enough of playing around with the clomid and scheduled us
an appointment with the reproductive endocrinologists in the same
hospital as our urologist. I scheduled it for about two weeks after our
next urology appointment, just in case a miracle finally happened we got
GOOD news there. We did not. And the urologist ENCOURAGED us to keep
our appointment with hope that we could find more answers.

Boy, was that a scary day. It was a Friday in December. And it took
HOURS. We waited and waited to see the doctor. Getting kind of ticked
in the process. In hindsight, I'm sure he was spending time with someone
who needed him more than we did that day, but whatever. Finally we get
shown into his office and tell him our whole story and he looks through
our charts and reports and yada yada. He immediately looks up and says,
"You need to do IVF with ICSI. I guarantee I can get you pregnant." A
wait, what? No IUI? What's ICSI? Guarantee? Wow. IVF. That's
major. Are you sure? And my husband's best question: " Are you sure we
won't have quadruplets?"

Looking back, we were so ill informed. And unprepared. After that
appointment we had a HUGE argument over what we were willing to do have
a baby and what we weren't. It wasn't pretty. Thankfully, after some
research, calming down, heart to hearts, and very thorough inspection of
our insurance policy, we came to terms with it. To this day, I think my
husband would have walked away and gone the adoption road if I hadn't
really, really wanted to try IVF. I just wasn't ready for that.

So, we squeezed in all of our classes at the clinic in January. And also
blood work and ultra-sounds. So when my February cycle came, off we
went. We had the usual struggle to self inject, timing, nerves, early
mornings at the clinic, counting follicles, and emotional breakdowns.
But, all things considered, I had a very, very smooth cycle. We
retrieved 18 eggs, all mature, all fertilized using ICSI, and all grew
like gangbusters. I didn't know it then, but this was like the ROCK
STAR of all IVF cycles. All I knew is that I was scared out of my mind
and swollen like crazy.

Finally transfer day came and we had two beautiful 8A embryos to
transfer (and eventually 12 more to freeze). I wore my lucky, red
penguin socks and had to pee so badly that it almost made me pass out.
I joked with the embryologist that I needed one of those to have red
hair, please. I was also never so happy to pee as after that transfer.

Now it was onto the two week wait. And that's when I FINALLY found
Resolve. About 10 days into my wait, I started to spot. I freaked the
heck out. Everyone knows you aren't supposed to BLEED when you are
pregnant. Dr. Google led me to Resolve and their bulletin boards. And
the beautiful ladies there calmed me down, encouraged me, and held my
hand through, well, through everything up until TODAY.

Despite the spotting, we did have a positive pregnancy test! And then
beautifully doubling betas. And then, oh my gosh, this was the best,
TWO perfect heart beats. TWINS. On our first cycle. A complete and
total blessing.

Little did I know that the easy part was behind me. I had several scary
bleeding episodes, preterm labor, gestational diabetes, and multiple
hospital stays with my twin pregnancy. Each and every step, though, my
Resolve ladies had my back. Cheering me on, informing me, praying for
me, and holding me up when I was most scared that my miracles just
weren't going to make it.

But they DID. Today we have two beautiful, genius, happy, crazy 3 year
olds. A boy and a girl. The million dollar family. We are so blessed
and darn lucky. I have so many beautiful friends that did not have the
"easy" path that we did and they amaze me on a daily basis with their
charity, faith, and strength. That's who this walk is for. The
families that are yet to be. For the couples that need US to support
them. They've always had my back, I'm happy to have theirs.